Oh Brad Womack...I'm feeling that familiar pull I always get at this
point in this season. Me in week one: The Bach is a stupid show, I
don't think I'll watch it this season. Week two: I kind of like Jenni,
but I don't really care who he picks. I might watch it next week. By
the final week I'll be yelling at the tv about who he should and
shouldn't pick and arranging my whole schedule around the show. Who's
kidding who, I'm doing that already. Good times.
So, start of the show, Chris-bot rolls down the stairs in his casual
look (jeans and striped shirt) and begins explaining the concept of the
single rose on a group date. You have to admit that for a guy who's
recited the same seven lines on every show, on every season, he still
delivers them pretty well. And the girls do hang on his every word.
First date box appears (sidebar: I like this idea of a date
box...wouldn't it be fun getting a date box at work so you could
anticipate the date you had lined up for that night..sans the other
girls, of course. But think about it - there are some fun
possibilities). So first group date is the circus. And there's a twist
that the Bach reveals: they're going to be PART of the circus. Wow. I'm
excited. I'm imagining the six girls in a pyramid formation, balanced
on the Bach's shoulder while he's riding a unicycle, wearing a top hat,
and being chased by Montecore. Now that would be
The.Greatest.Show.On.Earth
But I don't write the show, just watch it, so that doesn't happen. They
could have, at the very least, made Chris-Bot the Ringmaster. But aside
from those two omissions, it's still a pretty good date. I'm still
liking Jenni, although I'm not sure what was up with the brown
strapless velour one-piece pant suit. She did confess some feelings to
Brad, and he sort of reciprocated but also was a bit evasive: he wants
to make sure he gets to know all the girls equally before he makes any
judgements....this guy is smoother than I thought.
He's does like to evade things, I've noticed. Example: Stefy starts
talking about her dad and how she hasn't had a date in five years...the
Bach isn't quite sure what to do with it, so she's get's a rose.
Speaking of awkward situations leading up to getting a rose, next up is
the individual date. I'm not quite sure how to describe this one... it
starts out very Pretty Woman-esque (except the Bach forgot to snap the
jewelry box on her hand), and ended up...like I don't know what. She
does a lot of sobbing (is this what she meant by being sexy? flirty?
different than the other girls?)...but she does get a rose. And a
chocolate sundae.
The next date is a group date and they're going for a wild boat ride in
the sun. So now I'm imagining the girls in pyramid formation (with life
jackets of course, I'm not an idiot), on top of Brad's shoulder, while
he's riding, not a jet ski mind you, but a dolphin. Now that would be
an awesome date. But no, just a warning from the Coast Guard, a half
plate of chopped pineapple to be shared be everyone, and a lapdance
from a Christian. Which reminds me of some great editing: a fire in the
hole.
Up next: The.Most.Shocking.Cocktail.Party.Ever.
This really is pretty good. The Bach's twin brother shows up and I kind
of missed his name, so I'll call him...oh I don't know...Arnold. It
kind of annoyed me when Arnold acted all suprised that the Bach, let's
call him Danny, asked him to pretend to be the Bach for the night. I
mean, really, you're already wearing the same damn suit as him, as if
you weren't tipped off about the clever prank you're about to pull
before he asked you. Just chug your beer and get the party started,
already.
But seriously, when they were in the limo and Danny asks Arnold to
describe some of the girls, as a test, I was really hoping they would
get to Solisa. Because I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have said, is she
the Christian? The best part was when Arnold and Danny got out of the
limo and Danny says to Arnold: "If anyone can do this, you can".
Really? You mean, if you sent Chris in there to pretend to be you, it
wouldn't work? I think at least Lindsey would not have caught on to it.
But really, a great segment, and you know that the bro has done this
'pretend to be your twin thing' before. It just comes too easily to
him. In the end I was a bit disappointed that we didn't get to see how
Jenni reacted to the twin thing, but otherwise, he made some good
choices.
A couple of final thoughts - what is that leaning up against the wall
behind the Bach during the Rose Ceremony? A see-through air mattress?
Distracting. And I'm also thinking that a collection of roses on a
silver tray is definitely going to be the centerpiece at the next party
chez moi. Every hour or so I'll offer a rose to one of my friends so
they can stay for a little bit longer, like, Ken Harkness, will you
accept this rose?
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