Mary Mary, I Need Your Lovin'

Well. Survivor is
back on. I missed half of last week’s
episode, but I definitely watched it all this week. And I’m in love already. Usually I don’t pay attention to anyone or
any episode until the jury starts to form, so I take this as a good sign. The episode, overall, was a bit dry, with the
usual plot, just different characters, although the ending was well worth
it. Very nice.

The episode begins with the usual banter. Tribes milling around. Trying to start a fire. Trying to build a shelter. Or, two shelters
in the case of the fans. Alliance-building. Logs dragged across beaches. Flirting. Checking out tattoos. Ozzy
catching the world’s largest oyster. Just
another day at camp. Nighttime rolls
around and people are getting it on. Yao-man is snoring. All is good
in Micronesia.

As for the
players, I like Alan Alda the most. He
is, so far, my early favourite. Although
I’m nervous to say that, because without fail, anyone I like has never even
made it close to the final three. Sorry
Alan. I hope you make it, but…I probably
just sealed your fate.

Pavarti Cheese intrigues me. It’s that I don’t like her – actually, I’m kind of neither here nor
there, if you will, about her. But her
mouth kind of sets me off – it’s almost like she talks through her teeth. In fact, you will notice that her lips never
close. She has a permanent sneer/grin/smirk. Check it out.

I finally realized who Kathy reminds me of. Kathy Griffin, but with a different annoying
voice, and slightly more masculine. Is
it possible that Kathy Griffin has morphed into Survivor Kathy? At the reunion show, will Kathy clean herself up, and look like this:

As for Erik and Jason, I hope that one of the challenges is
a skateboard challenge, so that they can go all Lords of Dogtown and kick
it. Put down the ice cream scoops boys,
put on a tight-fitting, two-sizes-too-small t-shirt and some white jean bell
bottoms, crack out some 8-tracks, and I’m there.

Chet reminds me of that gay character from the
Simpsons. You know the episode – Homer
is afraid that Bart might be gay because they befriend a gay man named John, who
teaches Bart to say Zzzzap, and John saves Homer from
some reindeers. There may also be a scene with some steel workers, but I may be getting that mixed up with Family Guy.

If Ozzy were on the Golden Compass, I think his demon would
either be a dolphin or a monkey. Parvati’s would be a lizard (think of a long
tongue), Yao-man’s would be a mouse and Joel’s would be the Geico Caveman. I recognize that that last sentence will make
no sense whatsoever if you haven’t seen the Golden Compass, so my
apologies. It’s a pretty good movie, so
definitely rent it. But I digress, Joel
is my early favourite on the fan team – because of the ending, obviously. Especially because he masterminds the
blindsiding and then doesn’t even vote for the person he convinces everyone else
to vote for.

One final thought – Amanda. I predict she will have the most scenes where part of her body will have
to be grayed out. So far: Amanda – 1 (2
if you count scenes from next week). Everyone else – 0.