ANTM Cycle 10: Episode Five - Dominique's Going to Make It

First Up: Fatima is shocked that she sucked enough last week that she was in the bottom two.  So she's going to practice this week - practice hard.  I love the idea of 'practicing' at modeling.  I'm not really sure what it entails.  For Fatima, it's a lot of walking on the practice runway (still clip-clopping like a Clydesdale) and rolling her eyes at other girls in the house who aren't practicing.  It doesn't involve shaving her armpits, however.

Next is a camera interview with Dominique.  Dominique, among other things that drive me crazy, likes to talk in third-person: 'Dominique's going to make it.' 'This competition is all about bettering Dominique'.  Seriously, Dominique, that has got to stop if you want that spread in Seventeen magazine, which I know you do.

Shortly, the girls get Tyra Mail...and I start to wonder whether or not I could set up my blog to read like Tyra mail.  All flashy and scrolly and everyone would have to read it super slowly.  That would rock!!  Wait a minute...no it wouldn't.  I think for the next cycle that instead of Tyra Mail, they should just have a Tyra doll that is propped up on a table that every once in awhile, talks and tells the girls their next challenge.  The Tyra doll could have several different costume changes that could vary based on the challenge.  And the girls could take turns doing her hair. Oh yes, I'm digging this idea.  If you think it's stupid, just remember that this is a show that put their contestants into meat vests and steak panties to promote the modeling industry.  Now who's stupid?

Anyhow the girls hop into their Fab Cab stretch cab and they're off to meet Benny Ninja and Vendela (a supermodel).  Damn, that cat can pose! And Vendela tries to be hip and cool but really, her street cred is pretty much nil.  The girls learn some moves, and how to pose differently for glamour shots, catalogue poses and couture pictures.  It all looks kind of the same to me, but I suppose there must be some difference.

Back at the house, Whitney has devised a brilliant phone list, which seems to keep most of the girls happy.  But Dominique misses her time slot and gets angry because 'Dominique has a baby she needs to talk to.'  I know that some of the other girls have kids, too, and haven't missed their time slots.  But hey 'That's what Dominique is all about'.  So of course this sparks a fight.  And then Dominique plays...wait for it...the Race Card.  Whitney gets even more fired up, because she's from the South, and you just don't joke about racists in the south.  No sir, that gets people killed. It's not funny at all.  And besides all that, she's got a black best friend, so how could she possibly be racist.  Call her phat, call her a beeatch, but don't call her late for dinner.  I mean, don't call her a racist.

Next up is a challenge where the girls head into Brooklyn and pose-off for Benny Ninja and his pals, and of course Vendela.  I really don't understand why Vendela is part of this episode.  Marvita was quite bad, Fatima was just all over the place and shoving her 'girl parts' into all the wrong places.  Whitney does the splits.  I mean, kudos to you sister for doing the splits, but when was the last time you were flipping through a Sears catalog and saw someone doing the splits.  Even back in the day when Sears sold gymnastics outfits, still ain't no one doing the splits. I'm just saying, is all.

The winning team got a trip to the Swag Tent, which actually wasn't a tent at all, but some room in a building with some merchandise spread out.  Although they did get to pick some cool stuff, the swag tent was somewhat disappointing for me.  Claire won a trip to Bora Bora...and pink guitars for all her lady friends!  Hot!

The next Tyra Mail is once again cryptic, and talks about being in NYC is all about your coat.  The first thing out of Marvita's mouth is 'Maybe we gonna be nekked.  Maybe we gonna be nekked in coats'. Being naked.  Wearing a coat.  One sort of cancels the other, doesn't it?  But Marvita was wrong, wrong on a few things: the girls are having close up shots done, while having paint poured over them.  No worries, it's water based paint.  I can't believe there aren't more protests about this show - we had a homeless shoot in one episode, some dead meat used as clothing in other, now we're throwing paint around like there's no tomorrow.  Weak.  The challenge itself is fairly uneventful.

At the judging panel, I realize why Vendela is on the show: she needs to plug the fact that she hosts Scandinavia's Next Top Model.  The girls go through their best pictures, and once again I'm amazed at what a good photographer (along with lighting and hair and makeup) can do.  Tyra demonstrates to Anya the difference between intense (model) eyes and normal eyes.  Is she serious?  They both looked exactly the same.  Anya nods as if Ty Ty has just explained the most complex physics problem to her.  Fatima forgot to shave her armpit for the picture.  And her best shot involves one where she's lifted her arm up.  I guess all the practice tuckered her right out and she forget to take care of 'things'.  Poor Fatima. 

After the judge's deliberation, as Tyra's handing out pictures, I'm fairly sure that Miss J is doing a sudoku in the background. There's just no way he's paying attention.  In the end, Marvita goes home.  Love the scenes for next week - Tyra has all the girls dressed up in red bodysuits and is teaching them how to act like they're in pain.  Must be in preparation for their photo challenge, when they'll have to pose as rape victims or molested children.  Meeoow - I'm catty tonight!