So let's begin with March Madness. You know, final four and brackets and college basketball and pools and teams I've never heard of. I did join a pool this year, and made my picks like I always do and in just under two minutes, by applying the Sports Girl philosophy of making picks. For example, last year I chose Gonzaga to win even though I had never heard of that team, because someone I worked with had a Gonzaga University coffee mug. Also, I'm taking Xavier to the final 8 because I like Cabbage Patch Kids and Xavier Roberts is the 'founder' of said dolls. So, it's interesting logic, but we'll see who's laughing when USC wins.
Anyhow, the reason I'm beginning with March Madness is because Survivor was on this week on Wednesday because of it. Hooray!
The show begins with Malakal pondering which came first: the chicken or the egg? Actually, Tracy wants to kill and eat the chickens but Ozzy (or Oscar, as Cirie calls him) wants to keep the birds as the renewable resource that they are and just use them for eggs. As he says, 'We don't need the meat, we've got massive crabs!'. The editors must love their jobs. I mean really.
Tracy then has the realization that they need to get rid of Ozzy ASAP, but didn't do that last week (in Survivor time: last night) when they had the numbers to get rid of him, but for whatever reason, chose not to. Not too smart, lazy nipple.
Over on Airai, James is surrounded by a bunch of smelly funky women, and Kathy is, quite literally on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She's gnawing away on a coconut, crying, begging for hugs, and trying to send vibes out to her daughter and husband. She really wants to go home.
Back at Malakal, Erik is crushing on Ozzy. He would so give Ozzy the double scoop of the rocky road ice cream if they were back at Erik's shop, with extra sprinkles. But they're not. So Uncle Ozzy teaches Erik how to climb a tree and Erik is smitten. Especially after Erik is at the top of the tree, knocks down some coconuts and hears Ozzy announce 'We've got good nuts now'. Ozzy doesn't realize the damage he's done; Erik is going to have to rearrange all the Ozzy posters he pulled out of Teen Beat magazine and hung up on his basement bedroom wall when he gets home (Sidebar: I really don't know if Teen Beat mag still exists, but it does give you an idea how old I am).
The Reward Challenge is for the Herbal Essences Great Escape Spa. Basically the winning team will get a shower and some food. The challenge involves the usual: stones, blindfold, rotating cogs, and a puzzle. Is there a joke in there about a hot date? No, probably not. The challenge begins and Cirie is confused about direction. Is it MY left or YOUR left, Cirie. This bird is an operating nurse - do we remove the kidney on my left or the patient's left? My fear of Cirie in the final three grows. Kathy and Erik look a little too similar - oversized yellow shirts and shaggy hair. I get them mixed up. Insanity ensues, and finally Malakal wins. Erick jumps right into Ozzy's arms and they accidentally kiss. Or not.
Tracy and Jason go off to Exile Island, but strangely they show no clips of this at all. Makes me wonder what went on there...
Meanwhile, at the Herbal Spa, Amanda, Amy and Ozzy are hitting the showers. Everyone is topless. Some grayed out parts, Erik off to side, eating melons (pun intended) and lapping it up (pun intended).
Over at Airai, Kathy continues her downward slide. So much so that I think she may have actually had a bit of a nervous breakdown. Someone 'sends word' for Jeff (hint: they wrote a message, tied it to a dove, and sent the dove off to Jeff's tent. Either that, or one of the cameramen pulled out his cell phone). Jeff shows up, chats with Kathy and - you guessed it - Kathy leaves the show. I don't cry like I did when Alan Alda left last week. Another sidebar: I thought that once people left the show, they were kept on the island or sequestered somewhere. They certainly weren't reunited with their families, or then everyone would know the outcome. Wouldn't they? Anyhow...Kathy leaves.
Next, Immunity is Back Up For Grabs. This challenge involves ropes, water and puzzles. Eliza looks awkward as usual, Ozzy hogs the challenge by doing virtually all of the swimming (except he lets Erik do some of it), and James singlehandedly spins that damn wheel to bring his women home. For the third time in a row, Airai wins immunity.
Sidebar: Has anyone seen that American Living (JC Penney) commercial? The one with the kid who's standing on the table with red rubber boots and steps on her birthday cake? For some reason, this bugs me. I mean really. I sort of get the appeal of stepping on a cake, but even more so, I get the appeal of eating cake.
But I digress...as usual, the editors make it look like Tribal Council is going to be more dramatic than it is. Will Amy be the swing vote? Will Erik break his devotion for Ozzy and vote against him? But then the only exciting thing that actually happens is that Jeff is wearing shorts and tribal council and Ozzy stays. Poor Tracy, she didn't have a chance. I wonder how she'll clean up for the reunion show.
See you next week - unless Xavier dominates in the NCAA tourney and I win some big cash.
Alan Alda - 2 Amanda - 3 Amy - 3 Eliza - 1
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