I started the show a tiny bit late and thought for a second the producers were trying to be cheeky, you know, a little Blair Witch Project ripoff, what with Cirie and Ami trudging slowly through the woods, weird lighting, wondering what might jump out of the bush. They really should have added the sound of a baby crying instead of just having a stupid crab walking around town. That crab had every right to be there, and then Ami killed it. Nice. I do like crab legs, mind you, but only when they are warm and buttered and dead. But that's why I watch Survivor instead of apply to be on it. Of course, I'm not a US citizen either, so I can't apply anyways, but I'm way off course here.
Ozzy is indignant that people think he's the leader. Indignant and also feigning paranoia. His reverse psychological stylings are weak, in my opinion, but they appear to be working on his tribe mates. They actually reassure him that nothing is wrong, he's safe, no need to worry. Of course he's safe, we all know that he's orchestrating the whole damn show. Plus he's got the immunity idol (the real one...poor Jason). I wonder how far he'll take that idol - perhaps he'll try to use it at the live finale show, after everyone's cleaned up and even Jeffy will be wearing a freshly laundered blue shirt, khaki's, and ivory-tooth-on-a-string necklace that he's been sporting since day one.
At the other tribe, Jason kills a rat. A real rat. I almost throw up. Again, a reason why I watch the show in my rat-free home and not participate. The rat is then strung up (to drain the blood?) and the camera gets a nice shot of the long rat tail. Remember rat tail hairstyles? Hot. James is nowhere to be seen in this scene of rat killing; he doesn't like getting blood on his hands. But he is lying on the beach, complaining to his gal pal that the conditions are deplorable. There's generally no other word that you can use to describe conditions when they are bad, other than deplorable, let me tell you. Since the untimely departure of Alan Alda, I've declared James to be my favourite, and a finale with Ozzy and James would be, quite honestly, the Best Survivor Ever. Next, Parvarti is trying to scheme with Natalie. I'm struggling to understand how I could be eight episodes in and still not know who Natalie is.
Over at Airai, Eliza breaks the rules by reading the tree mail while not in the presence of the rest of the tribe. Quite the rebel that Eliza. This week, there is only going to be one challenge. To begin with, each tribe must select one person from the other tribe to sit out of the challenge; this person will go straight to Exile Island but be back in time for the vote; however, they will also automatically get individual immunity. The reward/tribal immunity challenge itself involves the usual: water, balancing, rain, flags, nets, etc. I find myself wondering what it takes to get hired on at Survivor as one of those people that demonstrates the challenges (of course, they only appear on tv from the knees down).
Ozzy and Eliza are picked to go to Exile Island. I really like Alexis, I really want her to outsmart Ozzy on Exile and figure out that maybe he's got the idol sticking out of his hat. But no...they do find the spot where Ozzy's fake idol should have been and Ozzy is pleased that it is gone. He starts to wonder who has it. I am enjoying Ozzy's glee at this; it does make the show interesting.
Back at the challenge, it's basically an Erik v. Jason show. These guys could easily be brothers. Erik takes a really hard hit but he gets back up again and keeps on going. He's like a eight-year old kid who doesn't know when to quit. But he's got to give it his all, or he knows he's going home. Jason dominates the challenge and I know what he's thinking: "All you suckers who made fun of me for being a gymnast...IN YO FACE!" Jason leads his tribe to victory, and the tribe gets to enjoy pizza and beer. I'm a bit surprised they didn't show any drunk scenes back at camp, but oh well. Just James opening a beer bottle with his teeth, and Jason falling in love with him for it. And as much as I don't mind Erik, I think it would have been much more entertaining to see Jason v. Ozzy in that challenge.
At the other tribe, Erik is desperate. Not only does he play all his cards to Cirie and Amanda, he plays Ami's as well. I still can't believe Cirie is still around. If I were on the show, the thought of groveling to Cirie makes me shudder. I'd rather eat that rat, tie a knot with it's tail (by just using my tongue, of course), spit it into Cirie's face, and swim off into the distance (or over to Exile Island) than grovel to her. But Erik is not me and I am not Erik. So he's trying as hard as he can to make his case. Ami is getting paranoid in the background. She grabs her machete and starts to strut around with it. Erik is glad to see his mentor Ozzy come back, and he is quick to tell Ozzy about Ami's manipulative ways. A shadow passes across Ozzy's face and he goes cold. Ain't nobody going to mess with Ozzy. Nobody. It's clear at this point that, 1 - Ami is going home and 2 - Ozzy definitely controls the game. If he didn't control the game, he might have considered giving Erik the immunity idol to keep him in. But there was no need to, Ami didn't have a chance. Even all the sad tears at tribal council couldn't save her.
Next week - James dumps Parvati for Jason (that beer cap thing won Jason over), Ozzy dumps Amanda for Alexis (after their sojourn on Exile Island), and Erik and Amanda form an alliance (based on their jealousy of Alexis). Cirie is left once again to be the swing vote. Eliza finally injures herself getting out of bed and has to go home. Alan Alda comes back and replaces Jeff as host.
Or:
The tribes merge, buffs will be dropped, challenges will be done, immunity rewarded and someone goes home. You tell me which show you'd rather watch.
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