Well...it's possible that a girl might win this survivor. Likely, almost. But after tonight's episode, I was not proud to be a girl. Warning: There are some spoilers, and some swears in this blog.
Tonight it hit me. I had my head down, writing down some notes for the blog, and I heard Erik’s voice. And it sounded familiar. Later, I was watching 30 Rock and it hit me:
Oh, I know, they don’t look a lot alike, not right now anyway, but just wait until the reunion. Maybe an older brother-younger brother type thing. Plus Ozzy will be wearing his striped tank – a little too Where’s Waldo at the beach for me. Colby sitting in the audience on a motorcycle. Rupert with his (what else) tie-dyed rainbow shirt. Should be a good reunion. Or the same old reunion that they always have, and I’ll just tune in for that 10-minute period of time where Jeff has tallied the votes and he’s about to announce the sole Survivor. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves:
Day 28
Everyone’s back at camp discussing the blindsiding of Ozzy. Erik is glad that no one let him in on the secret, because there is noooo way he could have kept it. Good call, Erik. James liked it; he thought it was a great move (at least that’s what the subtitles tell me). Parv has some major damage control to take care of. She flirts it up with James, but is somewhat unsuccessful. He’s just not buying it this time, and thinks Parv is selfish (but not stupid). I think she’s both selfish and stupid. Why, you ask? When James outright asked her who she was taking to the final three, without hesitation she said ‘the girls’. Now, unless James is one of the girls, she just made a stupid move. Hooray for James, though, he is still my favourite. Next, Parv and Amanda have a Gilmore Girls moment, although Amanda later reveals to the camera that she was faking it and is still angry, and Cirie interrupts to get in on the action and the three make an alliance.
Conclusion: I like James more than ever, and hate Cirie more than ever.
Survivor Auction – No Tree Mail Required
Cirie gets a hot dog and fries. Erik trades octopus for nachos. Nat buys bat soup for $240 and doesn’t eat it; but James slurps it up. Amanda buys a PB&J sandwich. Nat gets a message in a bottle, which tells her to send someone to Exile Island. She chooses Jason, who doesn’t want to go, to which Nat says to no one in particular ‘Why he trippin’ dawg?’. With that, I begin my soon-to-be rapid descent into hate for Nat. Finally, Nat buys a chocolate cake, which she gets to share with three others (Par, Alexis, Cirie). What follows can only be described as the most repulsive scene on television. And I used to watch Fear Factor, back in the day when not every female contestant had fake breasts and they ate buffalo testicles for lunch, and this chick-on-cake scene made my stomach turn. And then – Erik – licked Cirie’s fingers. And paid her to do it! Shudder. James is also disgusted.
Conclusion: I continue to like James, Nat is a bit of a stone cold bitch (her words, not mine) and I will never eat another ice cream scooped by Erik.
Nat throws the ‘B’ word around; Jason finds a real idol
Ok, I’m a girl. I get girl power. I’m all about girl power, really. So I should be happy that some of the guys are getting played on this show, but I’m not. I should be happy that a girl (Nat) is masterminding most of it, but I’m not. Here’s why:
1. Nat swears too much
2. Nat calls Jason ‘bitch’, not ‘a bitch’, just ‘bitch’. Don’t like it.
3. Nat and her girl posse sit around camp doing nothing, only to do nothing in reward/immunity challenges.
4. Nat’s forgotten that everyone who she backstabs now (which seems to be everyone), is going to be voting against her at the jury.
5. Nat snoops through Jason’s bag for the idol.
6. Nat talks about flossing her teeth with someone’s jugular. Good lord, do I even have to comment about that?
7. Nat pats herself on the back for ‘masterminding’ the voting out of Jason, the most naïve and innocent player on the show. Ever. Way to go, sister, you’re awesome (not).
Just once I’d like to see a girl come in and compete head-to-head with guys at challenges and win, and play the game slightly more honestly and with a bit of foresight into how the game plays out and ends. But we’ll see, Nat could prove me wrong. In the meantime, my dislike of her grows exponentially.
Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I can’t speak about Nat again, except maybe to make fun of her fake breasts. See you on Fear Factor, sistah!
Day 29
Jason finds the real idol on Exile Island. If I were him, I’d wear it proudly around my neck when I headed back to camp, instead of hiding it in my bag.
Day 30
Erik’s 22nd birthday AND the Immunity Challenge. Just like Christmas! Today’s immunity challenge involves a lot of recycled material from previous challenges, literally. There’s some rocks, tiles, puzzle pieces, keys, wheels, and planks, all laid out over an obstacle course. Nat and her girl posse (see above) are out right away. In the final leg of the course, it’s Erik and James, and it’s tense, people. So much so, that I actually look away for a moment; I can’t stand it! In the end, Erik wins. Hooray!
After the challenge, the girls are ecstatic; they jump around camp like a bunch of girl guides or something. Jason leaves to go swimming and has his bag groped (not in the good way) back at camp. Then Jason sits around with the girls, braiding hair and talking about getting picked up my dudes. It’s like, so much fun! Poor sweet naïve Jason, he’s far too innocent for this show. He makes Nat’s ‘job’ so much easier.
Tribal Council
The only good thing about TC is when James outs Parv as the one who turned on the alliance to vote for Ozzy. Gold. I love James more than ever. The rest was fairly boring, and no, Jason didn’t play his real idol, so he got voted out. Surprisingly, Nat voted for James.
Next week: James seduces a medic. Don't forget to listen to Erik's voice and think of Kenneth from 30 Rock!
Alan Alda - 2 Amanda - 3 Ami - 3 Eliza - 1 Nat - 2 Yap Women - 12
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