Survivor Micronesia Episode Ten: Shut Yer Yap

Can we talk, mano-a-mano, for a moment?  Or I guess, womano-a-mano, since I'm a girl and all.  I'm a big Survivor fan.  Huge.  But to be honest, I probably couldn't name more than three past winners of Survivor.  I think if many other fans were honest, they might admit the same.  It's not that I don't love Survivor, I totally do, it's just that by the time the finale rolls around, I don't seem to care.  All the drama's been played out and everyone's too friendly at the finale.  I think I'm just more into the game play, during the actual game.  I hate the final jury, hate the cheesy sequence of Jeff, flying into real time to tally the final votes, all the celebrity sightings in the live studio audience, all that.  But, I love episodes like tonight.  LOVE THEM.  If any of you out there were on the fence about  watching tonight's episode (like I was), trust me.  Trust me.  Watch this one.  It's gold.

Ok - now that that's off my chest - let's begin with a short recap of where we're at from last week:

Ozzy got outed as having the real idol by Eliza.
Eliza is now the first member of the jury; but don't worry, her eyes continue to bug out.
Amanda's mad at Parvarti for setting up an alliance without her.
Amanda might be a bit jealous of Alexis because she flirts with Ozzy.
Jason beat Ozzy at the last immunity challenge and finally Ozzy has some competition.
Jeff still is wearing a blue shirt and khaki pants.

Okay - we're all together now...Survivor's ready?

After Tribal Council, in the weird voodoo night light, Jason tries to pretend that he knew the idol was fake all along.  But he's just damn lucky to still be around.  And as usual, everyone (mostly Cirie) is having what I call Voter's Remorse, because they realize that they just had a chance to vote Ozzy out and didn't take it....there's always some remorse after tribal council.

The next morning (Day 25):
Ozzy apparently sleeps with his eyes open.  Either that or he's dead.  Wait a minute...he just sleeps with his eyes open.  Jason is sitting on the beach, looking like a human ape - he's eating some coconut, staring off into the distance without blinking, scratching absentmindedly at his face, and then ambling down the beach on all fours.  Well..maybe not that last part. 

The next scene gets me excited - it's that overhead circling shot so we know there's a challenge brewing.  A challenge and we're barely into the show! Hooray!  The reward challenge involves: water, a net course, swimming, a memory game, and some teamwork.  Wanna know what we're playing for?  The winning team of four gets an overnighter to Yap Island.  The challenge is pretty uneventful and the team of Ozzy, Erik, Jason, and Amanda win.  They head off to Yap Island, while the other team goes back to camp and Cirie heads off to Exile Island.

At first I thought Yap Island might be fairly remote, but then I noticed that a few of the locals had glasses on, so obviously there's been some contact with the 'outside' world.  And then I googled it, and found there are a quite a lot of tours to Yap, including the one I think CBS sprung for, and now I feel a bit gypped.  Did they just win an overpriced tourist trap, like a luau?  Hmm...

Anyways - the tourist trap looks pretty cool regardless.  They get a good meal and Erik has the time of his life.  He drinks beer and eats betel nuts, gets a bit high, sees a lot of 'boobs', and then pukes.  All in all, a good time.  And yes, I know I put quotes around boobs there, but seriously, that's what Erik said 'That's the most boobs I've seen in my whole life'.  I counted - 12 sets of Yap boobs for Erik.  Of course, they're grayed out for the kids at home.  Of course.

Exile Island (Day 26)
Poor Cirie is out on Exile Island.  She doesn't have much to do since it's pouring rain and she's pretty sure that Ozzy already has the idol. So she just tries to stay dry and plots revenge....

Dabu (Day 27)
James is up early and is cranky that his three compadres are still sleeping.  So he's starts banging away on a stick and wakes up Parvarti.  She's cranky because James woke her up.  Trouble in paradise between these two, I guess.  Soon the winning team comes back and all Ozzy can do is talk about how much food they ate.  How many seasons do you have to watch to know not to do this?  Just once I wish they'd come back and not say anything.  Just once.

Immunity Challenge: Last Man Standing (Day 27)
Jeff recites his usual lines:
Come on in, guys.
We'll now bring in Cirie, back from Exile Island (Sidebar: why does everyone applaud here? Weird)
You guys ready to get to today's immunity challenge?
First thing's first, Jason, I need to take back the immunity necklace
Once again, Immunity is Back. Up. For. Grabs.

Today's challenge: balance, water, stamina, sore arm/shoulder, and temptation

Everyone lines up with arm outstretched above their hand; if they pull their arm down, a barrel of water (why was the water different colours for everyone?) will pour on them and they're out.  Last man standing wins.  At the 20-minute mark, Jeff brings out a bowl of candy and Cirie and Erik surrender.  They want candy!  They like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater!  Or, more likely, they like week-old gummy bears that are stale and as hard as cardboard.  But I'd probably fold, too.  And I swear at this point that James says "What the Nickelodeon is going on 'round here?"  Every other time he speaks, they've got the subtitles, but not this time.

At the 45-minute mark, Jeff comes out with his arm behind his back, and Alexis prematurely pulls her arm down; she's so excited.  But Jeff won't give her reward; she's out.  And pouty!  Wow, girlfriend.  The reward is a chocolate chip cookie and some milk.  Natalie goes for it. She's out (and flashes the crowd).  James is so busy yapping (sorry, Yap Island inhabitants...Yappers?) that he too pulls his arm down and is out.

At the 1 hour mark, Ozzy goes for 3 chocolate donuts.  Now we're down to Parv, Amanda, and Jason.  Next, 3 hours.  Then, 5 hours.  Amanda has to pee so she's out.  Then sprints off into the bush to go to the bathroom.  Then, 6 hours.  Jeff brings a tray of sugar and chocolate and peanut butter and beer and pizza and milk.  Jeff announces that if someone goes for it, he/she and the rest of the tribe will enjoy this goody platter, while the last man standing will not enjoy any treats, but will have immunity. The rest of the tribe promise not to vote Jason out if he bails and takes the reward.  Not sure why Jason is the target, but whatever.  Each of them promise not to vote for Jason and Alexis and Cirie actually cross their fingers behind their backs as they say it.  Good grief, people.  They probably don't step on cracks in sidewalks, either.  Puhlease.  However...Jason goes for it - takes a big risk and hands immunity to Parvarti and shares a feast with the rest of the tribe.  Will they stay with their word and not vote for Jason?

Sun set (Day 27)
Back at camp, Ozzy and James beat their chests like Neanderthals and talk about the stupidity of Jason.  It seems fairly obvious that Jason will go home with a landslide of votes against him.  But wait! What's this?  The girls are scheming (sans Amanda) to vote for Ozzy.  My interest is peaked.  Will they be smart enough to do this?  Will Parv betray an alliance and vote for Ozzy?  Will Ozzy play his idol?  Exciting.

Tribal Council (Day 27)
'We'll now bring out the jury'.  Eliza tramps out, eyes bugging out.  The usual tribal banter.  I don't care about it; get to the vote, get to the vote.  I'm so impatient!  As a bit of a sidebar, James is still my favourite.  He don't talk real pretty but he's pretty perceptive (and yes, I get the bad grammar in the last sentence before anyone points it out to me).  I hope James goes far.  The votes are in; Jeff will go tally the votes; once the votes have been read; the decision is final; the person voted out will be asked to leave immediately.  I can't wait, I can't wait!  The first votes are pretty boring and soon we are at 4 votes Jason, 2 votes Ozzy.  And then - another vote for Ozzy.  And then - ANOTHER vote for Ozzy.  And then...

...OZZY IS VOTED OUT.  WOW.  Eliza's eyes literally fall out of her head.  I'm standing about 5 inches from the TV, shaking my head.  Love this show.  Just love it.  Ozzy is, of course, bitter.  He pretty much hates the person that voted him out.  (Just quoting Ozzy, y'all).  I'm loving it.  See - this is why I love the show - the drama.  Because you just know at the finale/reunion Ozzy will be all smiles and loving Parvarti and nothing will matter.  But tonight, a different story.  Sweet blindsided Ozzy. 

Oh, and an update on who's winning the grayed out body parts contest:
Alan Alda - 2    Amanda - 3    Ami - 3    Eliza - 1    Nat - 1    Yap Women - 12