Who's with me on this being the last cycle for ANTM? If I gave more of a damn, I would let my fingers do the googling and see if Tyra has signed on to do more, but I just can't find the energy to open another window, and punch it into google. Sigh.
We are down to four birds. Whit is now serious about stepping up her game, and stepping down the hoochie. Fat is fat...I mean, Fat is phat, yo! Dom must be nervous, because she is painting on her eyebrows super thick, and when she talks, bits of candy corn fly out of her mouth and hit the camera. Anya is more and more confident, but I'm still hoping for an english Cover Girl commercial, so we can see just how easy and breezy she really is.
Take a Picture...You Might Last Longer
Again, Anya is left behind trying to figure out what that could mean while the other girls take off in the mini-bus. At their destination (a park), the girls go for a stroll and come across Paulina, jumping around in front of a camera like she's doing a shoot for JC Penney. Not that there's anything wrong with JCP, of course. The challenge turns out to be a bit of switch - the girls will have to shoot Paulina. With a camera. I do believe that, if there's another cycle of ANTM, Paulina just might replace Tyra. I know, I know, that's harsh, but that's the modeling world, baby, you just got to roll with it.
The girls all take their five minutes to take pics of the...wait for it...legendary supermodel (oh yeah), and Whit and Fat do a pretty good job. Anya is a bit awkward (quelle suprise) and Dom is just Dom: 'Pretend you're walking but not walking all the way'. What the ? Fat wins and she's giddy because she finally won a challenge! Hooray for Fat Fat Bo-Bat, Banana-nana Sho-Shat...wait a minute, wait a minute. That last word probably shouldn't be there, should it?
Mosquitoes, Bee Beards, and Hot Italian Models
You may be asking yourself right now, self, what do those three things have in common? The answer is nothing, except that is what I would have written on the Mona Lisa/Tyrone Mail if I could. Instead, it read: 'They're out for blood, but they will give you a taste of fame'. Right away I thought mosquitos, and then my second thought would be that the girls would pose with a bee beard (wow I'm out there tonight), and finally Anya's interpretation of it, that they would be posing with hot guys.
Actually - both Anya and I are correct (sort of). The challenge involves posing with hot italian models with the pretense that they are trying to get away from the paparazzi (which coincidently means mosquito in Italian. See - you learned something). For the record, I don't think the bee beard shoot would be that out of line. They did pose with meat panties and collars, don't forget.
The girls are met by the Silver Fox, sporting a very slick red pleather bomber jacket. For all my mocking, I think Jay Manuel is the hardest working man in ANTM world. Then Nigel comes running down the steps and the girls begin to froth at the mouth. Or was that me frothing? No matter, the girls scurry off to hair and makeup and begin the shoot.
Anya looks like an old-school, cone-for-breasts Madonna, what with the bleached blonde hair and black eyebrows. Her shot looks good, but apparently she got lucky. Fat is up next, and she can't quite it get it, so Nigel has to come in and work the male model to show her how it's done. Still, she doesn't quite get it. The picture is pretty good in the end. Whit take a great picture, I think. Is it just me, or does anyone else think that our old pal Nigel has a petit crush on Whit? Watch for it... Dom is last, and she's a bit too predictable I think. Actually, all the girls are fairly predictable at this point.
Would Tyrone Banks Please Step Forward?
At the judges panel, the girls get some harsh criticism. Well, mostly Dom, although none of them get off easy. Dom learns how to tuck in her shirt, and is then called a transvestite. Ouch. During the judges deliberation, Miss J does a fierce impression of a Dom as a boy and laments that this isn't a Cover Boy competition. Nigel actually meows at Tyra, and hilarity ensues. Or not. When the girls return, I tune out as Tyra makes her usual speech, bats her eyelashes way too much, and does the super slow pulling out of the portfolio pics. Sometimes it sounds like those pictures are held together by velcro, the noise they make as Tyrone pulls out each picture. No suprises this time, Dom is sent home. Too bad.
Next week: Three girls remain and my dreams come true: an English Cover Girl commercial
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