I know, I know, I know. I do a lot of numbered lists. I can't help it; it's the nerd in me, if you will. It's just...orderly. But I will try to keep it to a minimum tonight by only highlighting my three major observations tonight, you can agree with me or not on them, with further explanations to follow below.
1. DeAnna's not over B-Dub (Brad). I've been talking around this one for awhile, but I'm putting it out on the table now.
2. DeAnna says a lot of the same things that B-Dub said. This could probably be point 1a, but that would be WAY too nerdy, even for me.
3. Chicks just might be crazy. Now, being a chick, that's not always the kosher thing to say about my sisters, but sometimes...
So, enough with the numbers, y'all. Lets get to the one-hour episode!
It begins with Chris-Bot down at the Outhouse, telling the guys that there are six remaining, but only four will go on to bring DeAnna home to meet their families. Also, no roses handed out on dates this week, just at the end. Finally, the boys and DeAnna need a vacay from their rough life and thus, are headed to Palm Springs to continue the debauchery. Fast-forward to Rancho Relaxo in Palm Springs, which can conveniently be seen from the Outhouse, and the guys are lounging around when the first date box (cleverly disguised as a lantern) arrives at their doorstep. Sean gets the first one-on-one date, with the card reading: Let's Take Our Relationship to New Heights. Now I know what most guys might be thinking, but clever DeAnna meant that they will be taking a gondola ride to the top of a mountain, with dinner waiting, and potential for dessert back at her suite. As a bit of a sidebar: I love how the guys all think DeAnna's got the greatest taste in picking out dates. Um. Seriously. She's really footing the bill for these things, of course.
So the gondola ride is a bit creaky and long, and as a person who's scared of heights herself, I would have probably been lying on the floor of that gondola with my eyes closed. Put me on there with Twilley and his motion sickness, and that would have been hot, y'all. But Sean's 'a man' and they seem to have a pretty nice time. Good conversation at dinner, lots of 'opening up' (there's an overused expression if I've ever heard one), lots of things in common, some strange conversation about loaded guns (what?), and the dessert consists of chocolate and champagne. Pretty sweet, no pun intended of course. And then, two odd things: Sean mentions that he lives one street over from his mommy and daddy, and DeAnna (to the camera) says that 'there's definitely a romantic side to John'. I may have singlehandedly paid for the PVR tonight, kids, because I went back a million times, slowing it down, speeding it up, and every time, the same: John. Not Sean, but John. Interesting foreshadowing.
Looking For A Man Who Can Get Down and Dirty
The next day, a group date for Jesse, Jason, Graham and Twilley. Twilley and DeAnna share one helicopter while the other guys squeeze into another. Twilley doesn't quite know how to open the door, but who cares really, because he's got more important things to worry about, like not puking on the love of his life. They all get dropped off in the middle of the desert, where they learn they are going four-wheeling. I don't know if there's an official name for this type of activity, although DeAnna calls it four-whillin' and some of the dudes say 'riding ATV's'. Whatever, it's definitely not what Graham thought of when the date card was read, but he's into it. The usual madness ensues: Jesse is competitive and wipes out, Jason just rides straight ahead at the same pace (DeAnna calls this being 'straight-laced'; I call this being 'a dad'), Twilley is off by himself playing with imaginary friends no doubt, and of course DeAnna races circles around them, or so we're told.
Afterwards, everyone's pool side and there's the usual horseplay and one-on-one time (another expression that is overused, especially by me). Jason and DeAnna share a nice moment, then Jesse doesn't kiss her, although there were enough awkward pauses that he could have went for it, and Graham seals the deal by lounging with her on the hammock. Sidebar: I loved how Graham was excited for the hometown date because finally everyone would be on his team; I can totally relate to that. Twilley gets no one-on-one time and she ends the date by telling him that she's proud he didn't throw up today. Poor Twilley.
Later that night, DeAnna goes on her final date of the episode, with Jeremy. The two head off in a big 'ole convertible, driven by DeAnna. I'm reasonably pleased that Jeremy isn't over-the-top impressed that DeAnna is driving. I mean, really, I know DeAnna thinks she's cool and all because she's behind the wheel, but we girls have been driving for a very long time. I'm just sayin', maybe it's time to bring something new to the table. Anyhow, they go off for a private dinner at Frank Sinatra's old house (not sure how the producers swung this one), but it's pretty cool. Except for the singing, of course. That was awkward, but they survived it. DeAnna is falling for this guy, it's obvious he's the favourite, especially after he pulled out the old standby "You're not perfect, but you're perfect for me".
After the commercial break, the boys ramble into the house for what they think is the pre-Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party. But there goes DeAnna, breaking the rules again. She doesn't need a cocktail party, she's made up her mind. And of course, she pretends to show empathy for the guys by saying 'I don't want to let these guys suffer through a cocktail party knowing that I've already made up my mind'. In reality, they wouldn't know she'd made up her mind unless she tells them, she just took away their final chances of making a good impression, and she's obviously tired from driving that convertible last night.
So, Chris-Bot walks in and he's giddy because we're getting right to the meat here, no waiting in the wings to ting his glass. The roses appear and we begin with DeAnna giving the spiel. And quelle surprise, she says she doesn't want to lead the guys on the way she was, so she hands out the roses. I don't want to point out the obvious here, although I guess I do, since I'm about to: DeAnna is doing exactly what B-Dub did when he was the Bachelor: slowly whittle away people who are in way over their heads and hope that no one gets hurt. In my opinion, all DeAnna's actions on this show are just redeeming B-Dub's actions on the Bachelor. If she didn't want to do what B-Dub did to her, she could have just went on eharmony or wherever, and hooked up with Jeremy that way (can't you just see the commercials? What a coup that would have been for eharmony!). But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, I know all you care about are who got the roses. So I'll keep it simple:
Jeremy - Jason - Graham - Jesse.
I'm a bit surprised by Jesse over Sean, but not enough to pause the TV or change positions on the couch. Sean and Twilley both come off looking like fairly decent guys, so I guess that's that. Next week: yadda, yadda, yadda, and we end with DeAnna in tears yet again. Yawn. Is B-Dub back yet?
So, back to my points:
1. DeAnna not over B-Dub. She just brings his name up a lot, and if not his name, she keeps saying 'I don't want to lead these guys on the way I was', 'I can't do to these guys what Brad did to me', and so on and so on. I just think she's not quite done with that cat.
2 (or 1a). Examples of things she's said that are similar/virtually identical to B-Dub:
About Jason: 'He has all the qualities that I look for in a husband' (change genders, of course)
About Richard: 'He is that perfect guy that I would have been lucky to have in my life' (change genders, of course)
About Richard: 'It's truly breaking my heart right now and I'm so sorry. I care about you but I can't lead you on and say I have feelings for you that I don't'.
About Fred: 'It would have been cowardly to keep Fred around'. I'm pretty sure that B-Dub said a similar thing, that it would have been cowardly to pretend to have feelings (for DeAnna) that just weren't there.
If I were brilliant or unemployed I would find some way to splice DeAnna and Brad sound bites and put that winner on YouTube, but you'll just have to have faith in me on this one.
3. Sigh. I don't think chicks are always crazy, but we are complicated. Example: Sean talks about how he's having a hard time with the other guys around, he's rewarded with dessert at DeAnna's and some intimate moments, but no rose. Graham says the same thing (which, by the way, made me respect him more), and she gets angry with him, and then forks over a rose. My point? At the end of the day, if a girl likes you, it doesn't really matter what you say or do (to a point). Conversely, if she's not into you, the same thing applies: it doesn't really matter what you say or do (to a point).
...just my thoughts, of course :)
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