ANTM Cycle 11 Episode Eight: I don't have time to think 'bout immigration!

I'm too busy puking in the garbage, y'all. But more on Joslyn later.

These shows are just like Law & Order (which I love, by the way). Not in any of the content and such, but just in how the structure is always the same.  You know, crime/police/investigation in the first half hour, lawyers/court/Jack going nuts at the trial in the second half.  It's brilliant.

ANTM is similar because it's always structured the same: the girls debrief and whine at the start of the show, we're interrupted by Tyra Mail.  Next, the first challenge is weak and sad, the girls have a cat-fight, then we have the judging challenge.  Following this, probably a dip in the hot tub, some alcohol, Tyra Mail, judging panel, Nigel, deliberation, elimination.  I guess there's no other way to really do the show successfully, but it does get somewhat predictable.  As well, at some point in the episode, we have a Whitney commercial and towards the end (before the judges deliberate), a commercial talking about some past model who's made it big in the modeling world.  Really, this blog could write itself.

So, let me break it down for you.

Part One: The girls debrief and whine

This time we are treated to Elina and Marj forming a connection, if you will, through their intensely European roots.  Talk about trying to stir up drama.  I was hoping for a cat fight between Sheena and Elina, but no.  Just a bunch of teenagers and early twenty-something ANTM contenders complaining about how hard life can be when you're driving around LA in a limo-bus, shacked up in a gorgeous house with no responsibilities, and competing for some exciting prize that I always fast forward through when Tyra explains it.  Boo hoo, ladies.  Get over it.  Poor Sam, she chides Elina about how she's had, like, 11 years or whatever, to get used to American life.  Who would have thought that a statement like that would finally get Elina to 'lose control' and cry and look real, but it did.  Too bad a photographer wasn't around to capture the moment.  Tyra would have frothed at the mouth for that picture.

Part Two: Tyra Mail!

In a picture reminiscent of Analeigh's interviewer-on-the-red-carpet shoot, Tyra greets the girls with the first Tyra Mail, something about working it (and yes, my PVR crapped out on me at this point, so excuse me Elina, but if anyone has anything to cry about, it's probably me).

Part Three: First challenge

This challenge involves two of the scariest looking people in the world, and Ann Shoket from Seventeen magazine.  The girls had to model dresses and accessories but the rest of their bodies were covered in green body suits, so that in the video, the girls appear somewhat invisible.  Cool concept.  The girls for the most part look awkward, especially Marjorie, who is wearing a tight tube dress.  Unfortunately, the top part of the tube slides down to her waist, revealing an invisible top, thankfully.  She's so awkward.  As I said, most of the girls are awkward, but Elina wins.  The reward?  A shoot with Seventeen magazine, where Elina chooses Marjorie and Analeigh to join her, and the trio look chipper and carefree and not really seventeen at all, but they seem pleased.

Part Four: More cat-fighting

This part could really be an extension of the first part, and who knows, with the editing that's done on this show, it's hard to know what order things happen in.  But in this part, Sheena and Elina have a shouting match, and it's classic teenage angst and over-importance, so it's entertaining.

Part Five: Judging challenge - The Cover Girl commercial!

Hooray, always my favourite, the Cover Girl shoot.  I love the girls walking and talking at the same time.  So much fun.  On the set, Joslyn is puking.  Literally.  She really provides the only real drama.  That, and Whitney makes a guest appearance to give the girls tips.  Yawn.  Let's get to the commercials: Analeigh and Sheena actually do quite well; McKey and Marjorie are the weakest.  Anyone surprised?  I didn't think so.

Part Six: Tyra Mail

The usual - only six will continue on in the hope of becoming America's Next Top Model.

Part Seven: Judging Panel

The girls are greeted with Tyra challenging them to walk up and down the plank with Dutch wooden shoes on.  I've got to admit that I didn't see it coming (honestly), but the reason they had to wear the shoes is that the remaining six are going to Amsterdam!  Hooray - a road trip!  Miss J dons the blond wig and Dutch girl cap and looks good.  He also does a good imitation of Marjorie as a chicken; so multi-talented, that Miss J.

Part Eight: Deliberation and Elimination

The judges have the usual conversations about Elina being too controlled,  Marjorie being awkward but taking amazing pictures, Sheena being a slinky fox, McKey having a pretty face but not being able to talk or show emotion, and how hard it is to find a model who can take great pictures AND look great when they're moving.  In the end, we're left with:  Analeigh, Sheena, Samantha, Marjorie, McKey, and Elina.  Poor Joslyn is going home, but not without stopping first to puke in the model's house.

Next week: Amsterdam, y'all!