Bachelorette, Eh? Episode Seven: The Bachelorette Blues

Seriously.  What do you think Chris-Bot slipped into Jillian's drink during their tete-a-tete pre-Rose Ceremony?  Am I missing something here or was that the most ridiculous rose ceremony ever?  Plus, I'm tired of calling it a ceremony.  It's not ceremonial.  No.  From now on, it's the Rose Debacle.  Yes.  Much better.

But before I get too far ahead of myself, let me stop the frothing at the mouth and start at the very beginning.  It's a very good place to start.  Tonight...the hometown dates.

First Date Box (if there were one): A Phillies cap (you know, baseball) and a DVD of season one of Friends.  Because, seriously, could Reid be any more like Chandler Bing? So the first hometown date is in Philadelphia with Reid.  Reid is a nice enough guy, with a nice enough family (we meet mom and dad and two brothers, Brett Favre and Chad). Their family business is realty; mom would love to team up with designer Jillian.  Three memorable moments:

Jillian: Do you think I'm Reid's type?

Mom: I think you're adorable.

and

Dad (to camera): Sometimes I wish he would just make a decision on his own, but he always asks me for my opinion.

and

Sister-in-law: We usually don't see you (Reid) very affectionate...with people.

Overall impression: A lukewarm date.  They seem to get along, good family, but nothing too wild.

Date Box Two (again, ABC, get your act together with the date boxes!): A book entitled "Bros Before Hos".  This time, we're in Valencia with Mike, his twin brotherSteve, and mom and dad.  This family is FUN.  Non-stop fun, in fact.  All kidding aside, I'm liking Michael more and more all the time.   The brothers try to trick Jillian with a little twin-switch, but she doesn't take the bait.  Mom is the type that is always simultaneously nodding her head in agreement and smiling, and I like her.  Dad is serious and loving. The brother reassures Jillian that Mike wants to get married; he wants to be a good husband and father. During dinner, everyone is surprised by sister Jenna showing up from Australia; more squealing (from Mike of course) and family fun time, including dancing the night away.  

Overall impression: A fun and good date.  Still not sure about the physical chemistry between these two, but I do like Mike.

Date Box Three: A copy of Architectural Digest (do they still make that mag?), a roll of yellow 'Caution' tape, and a kick-ass mom.  That's right, we're in San Diego with Kiptyn's family and mom is a firecracker.  She's awesome.  A bit Dynasty/Dallas/Falcon Crest at first glance, but wow I like her.  But first, let's talk about the family home.  It's massive. A tad over the top.  Here we meet mom, stepdad, sis, bro and bro's gal pal.  Dad is funny with the tape around the hot tub.  Mom is smart and a hardass.  Again, I like her.  She asks Jillian an interesting question: 'what would you change about yourself to make Kip happier and you a better person?'  Then, when Jillian confesses she's always had to work for her happiness, mom interrupts by chiding her: 'You don't want to work for your happiness, that's a contradiction of terms.' Love the mom here.

Overall impression: I think Jillian might be a bit our of her league here (not with the monstrosity of the house, but with the family, she did say they were both smart AND intelligent after all), but Kiptyn is hot so no worries.  I'm sure he'll stick around.

Date Box Four: The only thing possible, a case of wine from Kovacs Winery.  Seriously, they have a web page, google it up.  And what's so different about Wes promoting his cd than Jesse showing off the winery?  Ha, ha, ha, just kidding. Or am I?

We're here in Carmel with Jesse and family and at the family winery.  Mom and dad and brother Jacob.  I think the brother is falling in love with Jillian; actually, I think Jacob and Jillian may have more chemistry than Jesse and Jillian.  Seriously.  Didn't you feel it?  If Jacob had gotten a hair cut and had applied for the show, I'm pretty sure he'd be in the final two. Honestly.  Best lines:

Jacob to Jesse: Do you love this chick? Does she want babies?

Jesse to Jacob: She's on the five-year plan.  She's my little honey boo-bear.

What. The. Hell. Kind. Of. Conversation. Was. That?  Everyone must be hammered on all the Kovacs wine, and later everyone starts jamming around a drum set.  

Overall impression: a bit weird but I still like Jesse, despite his honey boo-bear crap.

Date Box Five (Easiest one): A red bandana, a signed copy of a Wes Hayden cd, and some broken pilot's wings.

Should I even get into the whole Jake thing?  Yes, I should, but only a little.  I finally figured out who Jake reminds me of, and it's Tom Cruise.  Not Vanilla Sky Tom Cruise but Top Gun Top Cruise and sort of the Interviewed by Matt Lauer Tom Cruise.  The clean cut look, the denim shirt tucked into jeans, the insincere smile, the quick change between dead serious and laughing.  Oh yes, bonjour Tom Cruise, how I've missed you.  So, how it all goes down:  Jake is distraught: should he or shouldn't he?  I know, let's phone foot- fetish Tanner to get advice.  Tanner puts down the mango mango nail polish just long enough to tell Jake to go for it.  Jake tells Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend named Laurel. Jillian is confused.  Wes shows up.  She tries to confront him, but passive-agressive Wes tells her that he's tired of being confronted, he hates that she's asking him all these questions.  Jillian ponders and decides she still wants to meet his family.  Not his band family this time, but his 'real' family.  If I were Jillian, I would have just waited for a quiet moment at the dinner table with mom, step-mom and three sisters and say: So, who's this Laurel that Wes has been telling me about?  Best moment (and there
were many good ones):

Jillian: Somebody told me tonight that you told them on several occasions that you have a girlfriend.

Wes: Tonight? One of my guys?

Poor Jillian, I can only think of one thing to say to ease her troubled heart: They say love, it don't come eeee-zzz-ay.

Surprise Date Box: Ed.  That's right, Ed makes a surprise return and wants Jillian to reconsider.  She reconsiders.  Ed is invited back to the Rose Debacle.  Hooray.  I like Ed. Maybe because we haven't seen a lot of him, or had to meet his family, but whatever.  I like Ed.  Hope he's not the dud on the overnight date (oops, spoiler).

Rose Debacle.  Jillian has six guys but only four roses.  Suspenseful.  First rose: Chandler.  Second rose: Kiptyn.  I'm starting to sweat. Third Rose: Ed.  Hooray!  Chris-Bot surfaces: Gentlemen, Jillian, this is the final rose.  Fourth Rose: Wes.  WOW. Goodbye Mike and goodbye Jesse.  I like Jesse's exit, not one word spoken to her, just a brief hug and he gets the hell out of there.  Not one word to Jillian.  Poor Mike, he's heartbroken.  I've come to the conclusion that the problem wasn't that he was too young for her but that she was too old for him.  Now I know what you're thinking: that's kind of the same thing.  But it's kind of not.  How could you not like a guy who said there were 'a hundred thousand small things that made me fall for her'?  Meanwhile, in a hotel in Austin, Jake is hunched over a toilet, puking.  Thankfully Tanner is only a phone call away.

Bachelorette, Eh? Episode Six: Tanner and his big package.

I went there.  With Tanner and all.  But before I do...

The one thing I'll say about Jon & Kate is that the cats at Crooked Houses or whatever that company is called have got to be toasting to their damn good fortune right about now because I'm sure their business will increase by at least 500% after tonight's over-hyped episode. Speaking of, just typing the words 'Jon & Kate are separated and/or filing for divorce' will probably increase traffic to my blog by at least 500% tonight.  Suck on that, Tanner P!  Woot woot!  

And now, The Bachelorette.  A few thoughts.  First, the dates are becoming boring.  Sure, they're in spectacular settings and whatnot, but I find myself not really caring too much about them. The conversations seem the same on each date, the same snuggling on the couch/beside the fire/on the sculpted ice bench, the same awkward stumbling by Jill when one of the guy's ask her a 'tough' question, the same ruminating about 'will your family like me' and so on.  

Second, what's up with all the Canadian sightseeing?  Enough with all the boost to tourism in BC and Alberta.  You'd never guess that the 2010 Winter Olympics are just around the corner.  Makes me wonder what kind of Olympic coverage ABC will have .  Not enough to do some research (by that I mean google), but still.  

Third, the one-on-one dates didn't do it for me tonight.  Usually I develop a crush by the first commercial break during these dates but not tonight.  Robby?  Maybe a little but only for the bartending abilities.  Reid?  No.

Fourth (oh yeah, I'm all over the numbering), I like Jillian but the lighting on this show is not working for her.  She looks different every time there's a different camera angle or lighting change.  All I can think about is that Seinfeld episode...you know the one.

Fifth, I miss Brad Womack.  And Graham Bunn.  Even Jason Mesnick and his damn leap-frogging family. I already miss Ed, and Mike (the other, non-break dancing Mike), and even David.

Finally, why do the previews for this show always look better than the actual episode? Obviously a rhetorical question since the answer is 'editing' (duh), but I could just watch 15 minutes worth of clips from the season, followed by a 15 minute proposal sequence, and I'd probably froth at the mouth about what a brilliant show it is.  But in the meantime....

Let's review the cats:

Tanner P has the greatest lines, the editors must love him.  He's never been to Canada and he's never been on a train so he's had two great experiences he would have never had if not for the show.  What a jackass.  Tanner thinks he'll get close to Jill's feet by helping her put her red snowshoes on.  Again, a jackass.  Later, he rates her feet as 9 to 9 1/2 and would have put them at a 10 if she had painted her nails 'mango mango'.  What the ?  Finally, he wants a hometown date so badly he decides to drop his pants to show off his package.  What a shame and surprise (not) that he didn't get a rose.  

Poor Robby didn't stand a chance.  A sweet, footloose and fancy-free kind of guy, his one mistake was not being ready to start a family and being 'between jobs'.  Although that got somehow translated into being 'too young'.  The whole getting-dropped-off at the train station was a bit much, though. Especially with him standing there with his bags as the train blew past him.  I hope he was thinking what a lucky bastard he was to be off the Rocky Mountaineer.

Jake is a tough one to figure out.  I like him and yet I can't stand him.  How is that possible?  Maybe his smooth talking?  Maybe his insincere laugh? He's certainly proving he can hold a grudge.  I look forward to seeing more of Jake in his Halloween costume turned uniform and to watch him barking into the phone at Chris-Bot.  

Reid is a definite no thanks for me. If I were on a date with him, I'd put on a blond wig, and then I'd take ten pounds of uncooked meat and stuff that fondue pot as full as possible; let it simmer for only a second or two before slurping up the meat.  Then I'd pull out a tray of pineapple chunks and strawberries and fill up the oily fondue pot with chocolate and make him suck it back.  Okay, even that grosses me out a little.  But also makes me crave chocolate fondue.  Yum.

Wes is a guy you have to hate and kind of respect at the same time. If I had to rank him on a scale with all the Bachelors plotted on it, he'd rank somewhere by Graham Bunn , I think.  Someday I'll publish that scale, dear reader, wait for it.  All I know is Brad Womack would be on one end, and Jason Mesnick and that firefighter dude who married Trista would be on the other end. Andrew Firestone would probably be in the middle. Graham and Wes would be on the Womack side, but just barely. Imagine it, y'all, a Bachelor Scale. And yes, I'm a nerd, deal with it.  But back to Wes. Granted, he's obviously there for the publicity (www.weshayden.com) but he never really denies that. Makes me wonder if this stint on the show will do good things for his music career or not.  

Michael comes on a little too strong and a little too fast and that, mixed with zero physical chemistry, puts him on thin ice, I think.  He needs to relax a little on the hometown date but that's likely impossible, so he'll probably get the axe next week.

Who else are we left with?  Oh right, my favourite cats: Jesse and Kiptyn.  Seriously are any of the other guys even close to coming out ahead of these two?

So we're down to five for the hometown dates: Kiptyn, Reid, Jesse, Wes, and Michael. And, true to spirit (what an odd expression that is), the previews look better than the show might actually be.  I predict that Jake will be the one who joins the cats at an upcoming Rose Ceremony, that Kiptyn has a cool dad (come on, the tape around the hot tub?), that Wes has no family, just 'his band', and that Jesse will be the dud in the boudoir, clearing the road for a Kiptyn-Reid finale, only to be spoiled by the surprise appearance by Ed (that's right, Ed) and Jillian will be too flustered to accept a proposal from anyone. And we'll be back at square one.  With an announc
ement that Kiptyn will be the next Bachelor and an appearance by Jillian on the next cover of People magazine.  At which point I'll curse the show, and myself for watching said show, and then begin a countdown to the start of the next season.  Phew!  I need a whiskey sour, y'all!  

Bachelorette, Eh? Episode Five: Tiptoe Through the Tulips

And then there were ten.  Great episode tonight, no?  And an even better preview for the rest of the season.  But we'll get to that later.  I think, since tonight's episode featured ten cats, that it's time to chat about each one.  Please weigh in with your own thoughts and to place your bets now for last cat standing.

In order of roses....

Michael.  Michael got tonight's first date card (Come Fly With Me, which made me think of Air Canada for some reason...is that an old slogan?).  Their date involved ziplining around Whistler (not the town, although that would be cool: ziplining from hotel to hotel above the crowds of people) and a champagne tasting.  The date went well - lots of fun balances with serious conversation - and Michael got a rose.  Despite my best intentions, I am really liking this cat.  He seems the most sincere and he's really growing on me. Granted, he's a bit goofy, but in a good way.  His best line tonight (to profess how much he likes Jillian): 'I could sit in a room with her and just eat spaghetti'.  Huh? 

Ed.  I think I liked Ed right from the start.  Let me put it out there by saying I respect and like Ed even more now.  That's right.  I think he made the right move by leaving the show. Whether it was truly for work reasons, I don't know or care.  I hope it doesn't come out later that he left because he's the one with the girlfriend and he used work as an excuse to wimp out and leave.  And I'm wondering if he gave her a good ole 'call me when the cat you pick at the end doesn't work out' line.  Because that is an article I wouldn't mind reading in People or US five months from now: Ed leaves the show only to reunite with Jill later. Golden.

Jesse.  My latest pick for Last Cat Standing, even though he's got a Chris O'Donnell look going on, and I keep thinking of that movie The Bachelor whenever I see him.  You know the one - where Chris O'Donnell leaves Renee Zellweger and they later reunite, I think. Everytime Chris thinks of marriage there are a crapload of horses chasing him.  If you've never seen the movie you're undoubtedly shaking your head right now, thinking I've lost it.  And you might be right.  But I do like Jesse.  Their date was fantastic - gorgeous views of the mountains from the ski plane.  The glacier part was a bit weak, but the dinner/drinks apres was quite lovely and romantic.  He was a bit evasive when she asked him whether it was too soon to get into another relationship, but I still think he'll be the Last Cat.

Reid.  This one was a bit of shocker.  I really thought he might get the axe.  And I really am starting to think he's got a secret in the form of a girlfriend.  There was something about his reaction when she asked him which guy has that girlfriend that I did not like. And he never really answered her, did he?  Just joked around?  Hmmmm....

Kiptyn.  Still a dark horse, but they do seem to have chemistry.  And you can't beat that stubble.  I've read a few internet spoilers that suggest Kiptyn might just stick around to place second or third and then 'become' the next Bachelor.  Wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, methinks, although we haven't learned enough about him yet.

Robby.  Fair choice for a rose, especially with his cute helmet head from snowmobiling. Not sure about him in the long run, but he's cute and charming.  We'll see how far he goes.

Jake.  My original choice for last cat standing but we're not seeing enough of him.  Who knows what the editing is doing but I still think he'll get far.

Tanner.  Another shocker.  Every time we saw him, he had that perma-fear look plastered on his face.  And all this time in Whistler - heavy wool socks and big winter boots - must be killing him and his fetish.

Wes.  Wes is probably one of those guys who the editors love: he says just enough crap to make him look like a jerk but who knows what he's really like behind the scenes. Regardless of his obvious publicity stunts, I don't think he has a girlfriend.  Not one that would let him wear that god-awful denim shirt with the red bandana patches anyhow. Kenny Chesney would never wear a shirt like that, I tell you.  He wouldn't wear a shirt at all, actually. And let me help him out here and end the mystery:  www.weshayden.com That's right y'all, his cd is available now.  They say love, it don't come eeeeeezzz-ay.

Mark.  No rose for Mark, but that's no surprise.  I'm still left wondering who the heck he is.  And I'm still missing Mike (who got the boot last time).  I did like Mike.  Sigh.

Coming up in the season:  Erectile Dysfunction Rears Its Ugly Head.  I kid you not, looks like someone can't perform during the overnight dates.  I can hardly wait to see Chris-Bot talk to Jillian about that one. Say goodbye to the poker face, Chris-Bot. My first guess on who the poor unfortunate cat is who..ahem...can't perform was Tanner, but I'm having a hard time believing he even makes it to the overnight dates...

Bachelorette, Eh? Episode Four: The Filler Episode...or...Hurry, Hurry Hard!

Hey Y'all.  A couple of things before we get to the meat: 

First, in every season, I find there is an episode or two that doesn't have a lot of drama and not a lot of fun.  It's a bit of a turning point, where the cats start talking more seriously, using words and phrases like 'vulnerable', 'I need some reassurance', 'I really feel like we're making a connection', and the like.  Some talk about past relationships and what they want for their future.  It's a necessary episode but it's a bit dry.  Tonight was one of those episodes.  Thankfully, the show kept getting interrupted by tornado warnings so I suppose that counts for drama.

Second, I live in Vancouver.  So naturally, I could write a whole blog about various places we saw on tonight's episode.  Examples:  I've used the bathroom at the Fairmont Hotel (true).  I shop pretty much everyday at the Granville Island Public Market (true - except weekends fire me up because there are too many tourists taking pictures of food displays when all I want is a slab of ribs from Armando's). I've only curled one season of my life and it was at the Marpole Curling Club (true - and although I'm not a great curler I could singlehandedly wipe (or sweep I suppose) all of those cats off the map.  That was some bad curling).  But that's enough of the Vancouver frothing.  Let's recap the show:

At the start, Chris-Bot explains that the boys are moving out of the bunkhouse or roadhouse or craphouse or whatever they call it and are going to Vancouver, Jillian's hometown.  They're excited, especially Jesse, who finally has a reason to wear that pink Vancouver BC t-shirt his grandma bought him ten years ago and that he's finally grown into.

The first date card arrives (Note: I would have had a Date Box with a stuffed pigeon and a map of Granville Island.  But that's just me).  Turns out Kiptyn gets to 'Cook Up Some Love, Vancouver Style' with Jillian.  Now, I said this last week, but I'll say it again this week.  I generally fall for the cat who gets the one-on-one and this week is no exception. In fact, by the end of the episode tonight (particularly during the Rose Ceremony) I found myself wishing that Kiptyn would just fork over a diamond ring already, so the ridiculousness might end.  Kiptyn and Jillian have a nice date - kayaking, shopping for food at a public market, feeding some pigeons, making dinner at her place, serious chat, yadda yadda yadda, and he gets a rose. 

Back at the hotel, the second date card arrives (Note: This date box would be easy: a slider.  Or a broom. If you don't know what I'm talking about, congratulate yourself. You've obviously never curled before.)  This date is a group date with Jesse, Tanner, Jake, Robby, Wes, Ed, Michael, Reid, Juan and David. They go curling and everyone is terrible.  Terrible.  Wow it's uncomfortable.  Curlers around the world are cringing at the damage being done to the ice. The cats split into two teams and the winning team throws one good rock and wins.  Actually, it's not even one good rock.  The winning team throws one rock that stays in play so they win. Jesse eventually gets the rose. 

The third date card is for Mark and Mike.  Throughout this whole date (which involved a helicopter ride, a gondola ride, and dinner atop Grouse Mountain), all I could think was: Who the f*$& is Mark?  Seriously.  Have you seen this cat before tonight, because I don't remember him.  He's a pizza entrepreneur.  Um.  What?  Does that mean that when he picks up Jillian in his old beat-up car it will have a Domino's pizza sign on the top?  Cuz that would be hot, y'all.  But seriously, Mark gets the rose over Mike?  Who the f*$& is this cat? 

Up next: The.Most.Ridiculous.Cocktail.Party.Ever.  First, I think Juan called Jillian Jilly. Jilly. The guys continue to hate on Wes.  This might be the first episode where we don't hear Wes strum his guitar and sing his tune, but I guarantee that as you read this line you can hear it in your mind.  They say love, it don't come easy.  You're welcome.  The cat formerly known as Tanner P lays it out for Jillian and tells her that there are guys here who aren't in for the right reasons; some may even have a girlfriend back home.  Drama ensues.  Jillian cuts the party short: 'We're not having a party anymore.  See you at the Rose Ceremony'.  Chris-Bot has to come back from his coffee break early and he's excited.  Together, Chris-Bot and Jillian will get to the bottom of this drama: who is the cat with the girlfriend?  Is it Wes?  None of the guys will name names.  There's some awkwardness and clever editing and this is when I start wishing Kiptyn (or maybe Jesse, if he lost the golf cap) would just get a ring out and be done with it.

In the end, the roses go to: Reid, Robby, Ed, Michael, Wes, Jake and Tanner.  Which means that Juan and David are out.  Juan doesn't seem too upset and mentions that he's not the one with the girlfriend. David seems a bit more embarrassed to be rejected in front of the guys than to be actually going home without a rose (or Jillian).  Thankfully he's too drunk to really be too worried.

Next week: Whistler!!  And some shocking heartbreak for Jillian.  We may just find out who has the girlfriend.  Or maybe Jason will be back.  Or Brad Womack. Whatever it is, I hope there's more drama next week!

Bachelorette, Eh? Episode Three: Still Searching For That Mythical Unicorn

Let me just preface tonight's post by talking about next week's episode.  I promise not to froth at the mouth TOO much but next week she's taking the boys to Vancouver, which is where I live.  Too bad the show isn't taped live because you just know I'd be out stalking all the local tourist places, just hoping for a *chance* encounter.  Sigh.

Also, I've started a new drinking game.  Each time David swears = one whiskey sour. I'm hammered right now.  Almost as hammered as David was at the Rose Ceremony.  But I'm getting ahead of myself, as usual.

Tonight's highlights:

One Thing I Would Add To The Show:  Have you ever watched America's Next Top Model? Who am I kidding, of course you have.  You know how when one of the model hopefuls is eliminated, they fade away from the model montage.  I would totally add that to this show.  Instead of Jillian standing and pondering in front of framed 8x10's of these cats, let's get Nigel Barker to do a group shot, and then every week she can ponder over that picture, and the guys who don't get roses would just fade away.  On that note, how about some makeovers?

Jilloquialism of the Night: Popped Your Helicopter Cherry.  The first time I typed that it came out as Pooped Your Helicopter Cherry. Not sure which I like better.

Hot Dog References: None.  Although David did mention that he was used to being the Top Dog.  Close. Has David sworn lately?  Down goes another whiskey sour. Tart.

Song Most Likely to Stick In Your Head:  Oh you know the one I'm talking about.  They say love, it don't come eeee-zzzy.  An alternate title for this blurb could have been: Person Most Likely to End Up in the JC Penney/American Living Ads.  Can we talk about Wes for a minute? I'm a bit tired of the guitar gig.  Enough already.  Release your damn tune and get on with it.  Also, he's a bit possessive, no?  Jill makes the observation (to the camera) that Wes already thinks that she belongs to him; she thinks it's sweet that he's a little jealous.  Fast forward a year or two and that's exactly what she'll be complaining to her friends about but she won't think it's so sweet.  Also, the whole serenade outside her window bit? It would have been so much better if Robby or Ed came out, wrapped only in a towel and told Wes to shut the * up.  

Cat Most Likely to Star in the Real World Version of Brokeback Mountain: Juan.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it could help explain some of the crazy tension/conflict between David and Juan. For all I know, he'll probably be the Last Cat Standing.

Dark Horse #1:  Ed.  Let me first confess that I generally fall in love with each Cat after each one-on-one date, and Ed is no exception.  The craziness of rappelling down a skyscraper after a helicopter ride, swimming in the pool, and dinner back on top of said skyscraper is just a great date.  He's a bit of a workaholic and has just the right dose of shyness/dorkiness but also a great pair of shoes and the ability to make fun of himself. Wow, I'm showing my girl colours here, but I'm hoping that Ed makes it far.

Dark Horse #2: Kiptyn.  I don't think we've seen his full potential yet. But we will.

Best Interpretation of Being 'Thrown Under the Bus': How ironic was it that Sasha, who was in a crazy truck accident when he was 18 (just about died), had the date where they went to a car museum, drove a super hot Ferrari, and then got sent home on a city bus. Isn't it ironic?  Now I have a different song in my head - take that Wesley Chesney! But back to this date.  I did like Sasha and I thought it was unfortunate that he didn't get a rose.  But he did seem a tad too serious and I could see how Jillian would feel the pressure to live up to his expectations.  Maybe.  But when you see who she kept around, it makes you wonder...

Worst Editing: Tsk, tsk, ABC.  I'm sure you all saw it.  When Jillian addresses all the cats at the Rose Ceremony before forking out the roses, the camera flashes on Reid where, plain as day, a rose gently resides on his lapel.  Tsk, tsk, indeed.

Date Boxes Cards: The first date card, for Ed, 'Love Can Be Dangerous', should have been a barf bag because that's what I would have needed after landing on top of that building and learning how we were about to get down to the ground.  The second (group date), 'Show me the Good, the Bad and the Ugly', should have been a guest appearance by Clint Eastwood, giving the cats a little pep talk before the date.  And the third date card for Sasha, 'Can You Handle My Curves', could have been a toy pickup truck, although that may have given him flashbacks, or perhaps a bus pass.  Yikes.  

The artist formerly known as Tanner P: Thankfully we can now call him Tanner without the P.  For most of tonight's episode I wasn't sure who Tanner F was, but I suspected he was the somewhat Russian looking Cat and I was right.  But Tanner P got a rose and Tanner F did not, so need to worry anymore.  I like Tanner P.  Not in a Brad Womack kind of way, but he is an entertaining guy.  The foot fetish thing, the Flinstones outfit, the mint green v-neck t-shirt, but most of all his admission of having 'no skills....I'm not here for an agenda...I'm just a simple guy from Dallas and I'm here to suck on some toes and I'm here to meet me some Jillian'.  I hope he sticks around.

Drama-rama (not really): I feel I should address the whole David-Juan conflict but I don't really care.  I suspect most dudes have had confrontational conversations with other dudes like this, and the only part I really enjoyed was after David frothed at the mouth and stormed off leaving Juan slightly dumbfo
unded, was Robby looking at him and saying quietly 'I totally 100% agree with David, but we can talk about that later', clinking Juan's glass and walking off quietly. Gold.  Robby's stock just went up about 200% after that one.

So who stays and who goes:  Ed, Robby, Jake, Reid, Mark, Jesse, Tanner P, Wes, Juan, Michael, Kiptyn, Mike and David stay.  Which leaves Tanner F and Brad who are sent home.